


Patience

by kiva31



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, Gen, Missing Scene, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-11-18
Updated: 2003-11-18
Packaged: 2018-10-07 04:57:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10352685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiva31/pseuds/kiva31
Summary: SPOILERS : Season three, spoilers for Legacy, Cassie’s existence, and Into The Fire.SUMMARY : Janet does some thinking after Legacy.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Yuma, the archivist: this work was originally archived at [Stargatefan.com](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Stargatefan.com). To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [StargateFan Archive Collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/StargateFan_Archive_Collection).

Stargate SG-1 FanFiction - Patience

"Cassie! Will you turn that thing down!" 

No answer. Not that I really expected one. Quite frankly, I'm surprised her ears haven't started to bleed with the volume she's playing her music at. An act of revenge for some no doubt heinous crime I've perpetrated against her? Or simple teenage disregard for such things as headaches? Well, only one way to find out. 

I make my way upstairs - did I feel this old yesterday? - each step I take on the stairs muffled by the carpet there. For a moment I imagine that I can actually feel the vibration of the pounding drums coming from Cassie's stereo. Perhaps that's just the throbbing pain that feels as if it's squeezing my skull. 

"Cass?" The sound increases as I open the door, only to find my daughter happily chatting away on the phone. Phone? How on Earth can she hear herself speak? "Cassie!" 

She doesn't even notice I'm there. So, I resort to the method my mother used on me as a teen - I switch the stereo off. The sudden silence is almost as deafening as the music was, and I wonder wildly for a moment if Cassie's choice in tunes had really injured my eardrums. 

"Moooom!" 

Nope, heard that just fine. Kind of wish I hadn't. Did I whine to *my* mom like that? 

"I was only listening to a CD." 

"Yes, Cassandra," I explain calmly, watching her roll her eyes at the use of her full name. "But so, I suspect, was half of Colorado." 

"Whatever," she replies with a sigh. 

I know she didn't mean it to sound so cool, so dismissive. It's just the way teenagers are...right? Only barely thirteen, and already full of those raging hormones. Well, it'll be over soon...say, a few more years? I can only hope. 

With her attention now focused on the phone, I realize that I've lost her for now. No point sticking around. Before I go, however, I make a point of turning the volume on the stereo down, ready for the next time she turns it on. Hopefully, we'll survive it with our hearing intact. 

I can hear her complaining already to her phone buddy about moms and their "I know what's best" attitude. Huh. I do know what's best. At least for now, and for her. Others...well, at least I try. 

Great. There comes the one set of memories I didn't want ambushing me tonight. You know, I really didn't want to find anything wrong with Daniel in the first place. Once I did, it was my duty to take the symptoms that he had been suffering with, as well as the evidence I myself had tested for - no obvious signs of alien activity, chemical or mechanical, increased Dopamine levels - and diagnose to the best of my ability. Just as it was also my duty to take those results to someone who was an expert in that field. Which is why Dr MacKenzie is on SG1's shit list. Although, after watching his conduct during this mess, I have to admit - colleague or not - MacKenzie is an ass. 

No, I didn't want it to be true. Daniel's my friend...I was just as devastated as they were. And 

I'm absolutely ecstatic that it didn't turn out that way, I am. No one wanted to lose any of SG1 so soon after getting them back from that snake-bitch Hathor - I mean, *dead* snake-bitch. And damnit, I complain about the Colonel influencing *Cassie's* speech?  

But I know that doesn't help Daniel. Daniel, who no doubt feels betrayed. By me. And to a lesser extent, his team, but...I know that it's me he'll focus on. And honestly...a part of me welcomes that. Feels as if it deserves no less. I played a part in this. You see...I let my desire to help Daniel - to try to help with the pain and fear of not knowing - to influence me, I guess.  Oh, the diagnosis was medically sound, I know that - Daniel was presenting like a textbook case of schizophrenia. I had no choice in the end, but to rule it that way. 

But when I checked to see if there was anything else that could be a factor, that Daniel's behavior could be attributed to, I...think I messed up. You see, at first, I checked again. And then I did it again, only to have those results come back as negative as the first batch. 

And that's when I gave up. 

I didn't check a fourth time...or a fifth. So that part of me, that traitorous piece of my brain that insists it was my fault, knows that I should have checked again and again, until I turned something up. 

I know, I know...it simply wasn't possible. Sooner or later, someone would have demanded that something be done, affirmative action be taken. Daniel would have simply deteriorated in the meantime. We didn't have the facilities to help him, and I would have only been delaying the inevitable. But I doubt those thoughts will help Daniel sleep at night...and I know they can't benefit me. 

The headache I've been battling rears it's ugly head again, and I zero in on the bathroom medicine cabinet, anxious to down some Aspirin. Headaches...hmm, isn't that where I came in? Daniel had been suffering headaches...hell, half the base - myself included - had been suffering headaches. Were we so far off base to think that they could be Stargate related?  I hope so...and that makes me think. 

Because I can't help but wonder...if this had all turned out to be true - that Daniel had never run in to those little Goa'uld killers...that the Stargate *was* in fact responsible for Daniel's condition...if he were simply the first case of many - would I feel differently? Would I have felt that I had done all that I could? Honestly...it just doesn't bear thinking about. 

So...let Daniel feel betrayed. I think he deserves the opportunity to feel whatever the hell he wants. Anger, betrayal, anything. One day, I know he'll be able to stay in a room for more than a few minutes if I'm there. One day, he'll be able to look at me, to make eye contact with me instead of gazing somewhere over my head. One day...he'll forgive me. And maybe I'll forgive myself. 

One day...I guess I just have to be patient. 

**The End**

  


* * *

  


> Author's Notes: Erm...don't know where this came from. Just a thought that struck me while reading some of the fics posted recently. And posted as a sort of thank you - you post some brill fics for me to read, and you get...this...as a result. Hardly seems fair, huh? The author's notes are probably longer than the story itself. Not beta'd.  
> 

* * *

> © October, 2003 The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp.  
>  The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa'uld and all other characters  
>  who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names,  
>  titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.  
> 

* * *

  



End file.
